I wanna be a pornstar

Look away mum. This one is from my Halfway Park days, when The Ordinary Boys were a thing and people still bought digital cameras because phone cameras were terrible. I’ve never been a “lad” and have never even pretended to have the bravado to strut around talking about porn. I never even got into watching porn, it doesn’t interest me in the slightest. So I’m not entirely sure what happened here but I’m oddly proud of it.

Once, I was away at PGL (do kids still get sent away on PGL “holidays”?) and one of the boys in the same dorm room had a porn mag where they’d used whatever came before Photoshop to superimpose Princess Diana’s face onto every image in the entire magazine. It became unimaginatively known as “the Princess Diana porn mag” and was passed around from dorm to dorm until one of the camp mentor people got wind of it and we were all taken in for questioning. That’s what really goes on at those things.

This song contains the lyric that is, I think, still my wife’s favourite of all my lyrics. In the third verse, the line is “why would I work in finance, when she can work in my pants?” and on the (VERY RARE!) occasion I’ve played this live, that one does get a laugh.

Anyway, sorry for undoubtedly offending with my filth and it probably won’t ever happen again (until later in this album).

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