Author name: Terrains

Race for life

My wife has done the Race for Life several times, and one year I made this song and snuck it into her playlist between AC/DC and Aerosmith. She has an awesome taste in music and is directly responsible for my Meat Loaf appreciation. I wanted this to be as cheesy as possible, as “Rocky IV

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Milf

We all know what a milf is, because everybody saw American Pie and instantly recognised those characters as their mate Mike. I wrote this for a guy I was in a band with. I was completely broke, so I wrote this song for the band as my birthday present to him because he was always

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Get your thrills

This song was written when the Kaiser Chiefs and Hard-Fi were everywhere, and I’d just watched Human Traffic for the first time. It represented not just my life, but the life of just about everyone I knew. We were all 20-somethings, none of us were married or had kids, we had jobs we hated but

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The meddler

Here’s a song about the bass player’s girlfriend. She was a nasty piece of work and after she spoiled the band for everyone, eventually they got married, then they broke up. They could have saved a lot of time and money, and the band could have been awesome, if they had reached that last stage

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Anthematic

Ah, house parties. I can’t really cope with anything remotely approaching that description now, but for a while there it was a confusing blend of excitement, alcohol and abject disappointment. They were never as good as I thought they would be. Still kept going back though, didn’t I? I’m a Southampton fan now. How things

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Superstar

This isn’t so much a song about how the grass is always greener, but more of an observation about how much we deal in extremes as a society. Time and again you see a person built up in the media and social media, for example a musician or sportsperson, only to be torn down by

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WTF

And so begins the swearing section of the record. Look away now mum. I’ve tried to build you up to this by swearing in my writings about songs that don’t themselves contain any bad words. You’re welcome. As you all know, WTF is internet-generation acronym speak for “what the fridge”. Now I’m allowed to say

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